So...lately I've been looking into the mirror and I've notived there is taking more time to look at myself. No...i'm not staring at myself longer because I'm so good looking...It simply takes me longer to look at myself because there's more of me. In simple terms...I'm fat! Or at least getting there.
So what can I do? Lot's of options...I could run more (ok...that was a lie...i've only ran once in the past couple weeks...so i should say...I can start running again. I could eat less....and man...do i love food....but the thing I don't get is that most of the food I eat makes me feel like crap. So pretty much I am just eating crap. (Kind of like my bunny....but he literally eats his crap...they are called secatropes...and yes he eats those brown looking coacoa puffs straight out of the shoot. It seems he enjoys it though. I wonder if I have something to learn from him...hmmm...no), I could get my stomach tied (or whatever the heck you call that)...but that costs money and I sure have spent a lot of money recently getting my car fixed. So that's out of the question. I could drink more water and fool myself into thinking that I'm full when in fact its just water....but i already have to pee almost every hour...so this would make me go almost every 30 minutes. Over a period of a day...that would mean I would go about 48 times....and if it takes about 2 minutes for me too pee...that ends up being about 2 hours! No way...I ain't spending more than two hours in the bathroom...and that doesn't even include time for that other thing people do in the bathroom. OH...and like I said earlier...it already is taking me a long time to look at the "fullness" of my body.
So...i think i figured out a solution. I'm going start drinking diet sodas. Now you may be thinking...andrew that is redonkulous. Well let me tell you something...your are redonkulous for calling me redonkulous. Yep...i said it. OK back to diet sodas. I just drank a diet dr. pepper and it sure was delicious (or maybe I am just telling myself that so I can continue this wonderful diet...pun intended...or some may call it a double entandra (sp?...should i be using a word if I don't even know how to spell it....if that is true most people should stop saying they're or or their or there) Anyways..back to the diet. Jon tells me that Diet Cokes are the wave of the future...not really...but he sure loves them and says he can never go back to regular coke. Those are the only things I know are diet. But i'll drink those instead. So...if you ever see a regular coke in my hand...come up to me and say, "What you doin boi!" Then slap that drink right out of my hands (unless we are inside...because we don't want to get any on the carpet...especially if its in a fancy house...like where we are going to have AED this coming wednesday)....rather you may want to politely say, "Andrew, It would be much apppreciated for me to see diet _________ in your hands rather than a regular _________. Thank you very much sir." In response I will probably say, "That sounds swell."
You know...now that I really think of it....I really don't like diet cokes....maybe I should just drink water? Or Crystal Lite? Gosh...its really all just psychological. Do i really even need a drink? I don't know...I'm a Diet Man...that just sounds cool. I want to feel like a diet man...i want to fit into those 34 waist pants again....Am i sounding like a chick?
Uh...I love football! (little do ya'll suckers know...that by football I mean soccer...haha!) Did i just write my thought?
